true life: people like my hair more than they like me
im thankful for pokemon
i said this while me and my entire family were bowing our heads for prayer and i immediately heard 3 generations of people groan
"Who’s your favorite character?"
The dead one.
honestly sometimes in school people say the most ridiculous shit and I make this face and look somewhere at an imaginary camera like I’m on The Office
my dad accidentally called me dad once
[aziz ansari voice] nooooooooooooooo
"hey whatcha doing on the computer?"
"that was supposed to be funny but my mom turned it into a life lesson and started yelling at me" - a memoir
can i still be punk if i’ve been crying for four straight hours